I came across the term “spank-deprived” over on Erica’s blog this week. When I hear that phrase, it makes me think of sleep-deprived. As I thought about it, there are a lot of similiarities to being sleep-deprived and spank-deprived.
Sleep deprivation is the condition of not having enough sleep; it can be either chronic or acute. A chronic sleep-restricted state can cause fatigue, daytime sleepiness, clumsiness, and weight loss or weight gain. It adversely affects the brain and cognitive function. Few studies have compared the effects of acute total sleep deprivation and chronic partial sleep restriction. Complete absence of sleep over long periods is impossible for humans to achieve (unless they suffer from fatal familial insomnia); brief microsleeps cannot be avoided. Long term total sleep deprivation has caused death in lab animals.
Now let’s change a few words here and see how it still fits:
Spank deprivation is the condition of not having enough spankings; it can be either chronic or acute. A chronic spank-restricted state can cause fatigue, daytime moodiness, clumsiness, and humor loss or tension gain. It adversely affects the brain and cognitive function. Few studies have compared the effects of acute total spank deprivation and chronic partial spank restriction. Complete absence of spankings over long periods is possible for humans to achieve (unless they suffer from self spanksomnia); brief spanking daydreams cannot be avoided. Long term total spank deprivation has caused death.
The similarities are weird, huh?
Here are some side effects that lack of sleep or spanking may result in:
-aching muscles … Don’t let your rear end atrophy!
–confusion, memory lapses or loss …Is that why tops ask so many questions? They are trying to exercise our minds?
-hallucinations …See spanking daydreams above.
–hand tremors … That gives a top having an “itchy palm” a whole new meaning!
-increased blood pressure
-increased stress hormone levels …Not getting that stress relief spanking is a bummer.
-irritability … YA THINK??
-temper tantrums (No joke, that was really listed on Wikipedia!)
Quiz: Are You
Sleep Spank Deprived?
1. How many hours of
sleep spanking do you get every night?
e. Less than 4 hours
2. How would you best describe your energy level
each day to spank?
a. I’m like the Energizer bunny
b. I feel good for the most part
c. I’m usually sluggish and tired
d. I’m exhausted and barely have enough energy to lift my arm.
3. Do you ever have the urge to
nap spank/be spanked?
a. Every afternoon about the same time
b. Once in a while
4. When it comes to
caffeine implements, you…
a. Avoid them at all costs
b. Keep them to a minimum
c. Enjoy my fair share
d. Use a great deal
e. Use implements from the time I get up to the time I go to bed
5. How would you describe your overall mood?
6. Which bests describes your
sleep spanking health?
a. There’s not a month that goes by when I’m not spanked.
b. I can’t remember the last time I was spanked.
c. I get spanked once a year.
d. I get spanked every few months.
7. How would you describe your
sleep spanking schedule?
a. I’m spanked late and wake up early.
b. I get spanked at a decent hour every night.
c. Some nights I’m spanked late, some nights I’m spanked early.
d. There are nights when I’m only spanked for an hour or so.
Okay, I don’t really know how to calculate the results since not all of this converted easily from the sleep quiz. Lol. You’ll just have to figure it out.
However, if you are spank deprived or sleep deprived, I’ve found that a spanking is a great cure for insomnia. They really should add that to the sleep literature… Way to kill two birds with one stone. Sweet dreams.