Here’s the thing with tops. Sometimes when they talk, I just start to hear this:
I do usually hear what they are saying. I really do! But we all know that hearing and listening are two different things, don’t we? I think it was in Pulp Fiction where Uma Thurman asks John Travolta, “In conversation, do you listen or wait to talk?” I admit that sometimes in a “discussion” with a top, I just wait to talk. I always have to end up agreeing with them anyway so I wait for a pause and insert “Yes sir,” “No, sir,” “I’m sorry ma’am,” “I won’t do it again,” etc. That doesn’t mean I don’t mean it when I say it, but it doesn’t mean that I’m necessarily paying attention to everything they are saying either.
And do I really need to? It’s so often repeated I can pretty much have the conversation with myself in my head without the top even needing to be there! Stop cursing. Stop being sarcastic. Stop being a smartass. Is there anything I AM allowed to do? Be a good girl. Oh right, that one. Yes, it can blend together after a while. It’s all a matter of perception really. Here is what I choose to take away from some of these “discussions.”
Top says: Don’t curse.
I hear: Don’t get caught cursing.
Top says: Don’t be a wise guy.
I hear: Be more subtle with the smartass comments.
Top says: Go to bed.
I hear: Get off the computer and browse Fetlife from my phone in bed instead.
Top says: Don’t make fun of my favorite sports team.
I hear: Make more jokes about their sports team, it’s getting to them.
Top says: You’re about to have a very red and sore bottom.
I hear: This would be the time to start running.
Perception. How do they expect me to listen to them anyway after all the abuse my poor ears have taken?