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When the strap bites
When the cane stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite links
And then I don't feel so bad
Yes, it’s true. I am a whole person, with a face and everything, though I don’t show it here. This rant is in follow up to some annoying out of the blue messages and friend requests on FetLife that I’m sure many of us have encountered. (Hell, Erica Scott could write a book about it!) You know, the ones from a complete stranger who you have no common friends or interests with. The one who clearly didn’t read your profile where it says in big red letters:
If I don’t know you, please send a message along with any friend requests. I don’t add people I’ve never talked to. Thanks.
Usually the message isn’t even a complete sentence. The subject line will read “Do” and the body of the message: “you need to be spanked?” And that example has better grammar than many I’ve seen. I’m quite tempted to reply with Subject: “Who” Body: “the fuck are you?” Because that is my first thought. Has social media shorthand and constant texting reduced our intelligence so greatly that we don’t know how to say “hello” anymore? Can people still speak in complete sentences and have a conversation? I’m getting lost on a grammar tangent here but I’ll return to my original point.
I am a person, not a fetish. Whether online or in person, a good way to start a conversation is to say “Hello. I’m (fill in blank). What’s your name?” Then let the conversation lead where it may which could include talking about interests in the scene or outside of it. Obviously if you see me at a spanking party, I probably like to spank or to be spanked or am thinking about it. We’re all there for the same reason but that doesn’t mean that all social norms can be thrown out the window. Approaching a person who you’ve never spoken with and starting a conversation with “I’d love to beat your ass” isn’t in good form.
We are all still people. Most people like to get to know a person a little better before letting them put their hands all over their body. Use some common sense and some social skills, please. As nice as it may be to have my butt complimented, I am more than just a “spankable bottom.” I can talk and everything! I know approaching people isn’t always easy. I admit that I’m terrible at it myself as I’m very shy. But even I can manage a hello and introducing myself. So if you see me, come say hello! And if you want to tell me that you’d love to beat my ass, maybe save that for a few minutes into the conversation. 😉