I am one of many who have gone through a major separation/life change since getting into the scene. My divorce didn’t have anything to do with the scene though. Or did it? I’ve always felt that was one thing we did right. Once I shared with my ex my feelings about spanking and what I needed/wanted, he really was pretty great about it. It took me a long time to work up to that talk and he was very understanding. It could have gone a lot worse.
He was vanilla and never quite “got it” fully, but he really did try. I’ll always give him credit for that. If anything, I think that having something new to explore together made things last longer than they otherwise would have when the relationship was running out of steam. It forced us to communicate a lot more since it brought up hard topics of deep seated needs, compatibility, jealousy. And it made me really take a hard look at myself and what I wanted.
So did the scene directly lead to my relationship ending? No. But I do wonder if the timing hadn’t aligned that way, if I hadn’t been exploring new things and experiencing new feelings, what would have happened. Would my mind have stayed closed and would I have resigned myself to an empty life? Would I have continued to keep the peace, smile, and stay quiet forever?
It seems a lot of people find themselves here during/after a big life change. Is that purely coincidence? Or does finding ourselves and coming to terms with what we want give us the courage to venture out on a new path, even if it may be a solitary one?
This was a writing I’d posted on my Fetlife recently. I know my readers there and here don’t all cross over so wanted to share it here as well. I know not everyone reading here is part of a public kink scene but I’m still curious about your thoughts on this. Was there a particular event in your life that led you to TTWD and made you want to pursue it? If you were/are in a relationship, how has it been affected if at all?